my take on God.

God of War that is.

Thanks to Geeks of Doom, the ever ensuing drama surrounding the God of War movie has been brought to the surface once again. The new drama involves Brett Ratner casually letting it slip that he might direct the long rumored God of War big screen adaptation.

Now...it's worth noting that (thankfully) this is not at all confirmed yet unlike Mr. Ratner's upcoming Miley Cyrus music video project. So with that in mind, allow me to offer you my own take on how this should go down.

On the directing end I'll give you a couple out there, probably never going to happen ideas, as well as a more realistic idea. Ideally, I would like to see Guillermo del Toro at the helm. We've seen what he did with Hellboy and Pan's Labyrinth, so he obviously understands a few of the absolutely necessary components of GoW, mainly being epic and mystical, not to mention the interaction between worlds. With that said, I suppose you could tack Peter Jackson in as a fantasy, but there's no way that's happening.

I will take a second to deviate from what I've been reading in other articles though, as I may be the only person in the world not begging for Zak Snyder to jump on this project. Sure 300 was vivid and definitely epic in scale, and as much as I enjoyed it, I don't want to see another one, and I especially don't want to see GoW turned into 300 part II.

So for more realistic options? I suggest Andrew Adamson. He's no A-lister just yet, but his Narnia films manage to really take in the scale of a book series that is larger than life. Sure, they aren't as tough and gritty as God of War is, but I'm willing to make two assumptions, 1) Adamson is probably not incapable of making a tougher movie, and 2) it probably doesn't matter, because no matter what, this is still a video game movie, and video game movies never work. Has Hollywood seriously not learned this yet? Anyway, for my other slightly realistic option, I'd say Danny Boyle, who is coincidentally the opposite of Andrew Adamson. Boyle is dirty and gritty, experienced, but we've never really seen him deal with anything quite as epic as GoW.

My thoughts on the man himself, Kratos, are much easier to sum up. For one, it seems like everyone is saying that Honsou is your man, and I can see how that could work, but I can't say he would be my first choice. Honestly, my first choice would be Dominic Purcell. I've loved him since I watched John Doe, he's a bit of a "rising star" with his work on Prison Break, and once again...this is a video game movie. That doesn't mean that the actor should be talentless though. I see people talking about how they should just get (insert wrestler/fighter name here) to play the part...no they shouldn't. I don't care who it is, you won't convince me.

So, other than Dominic Purcell? How about Billy Zane? He'd need to bulk up a bit, but at least he's Greek, and he's no stranger to video game movies either.

So there you go. I pose you three questions: Who do you think should direct? Who do you think should star? and Is there any way to bring Telly Savalas back to life so that he could play the part? Because as we all know, Telly was Greek, bald, and definitely a badass.

niiiiice

Ok, so it's been a few days since the last post, and I've been doing my best to infiltrate the online community to make my presence known. I don't know that friendfeed or socialthing seem to really help out the cause as much as I expected, but I'm still rolling along.

I love that socialthing automatically loads in your friends from other accounts and allows you to respond directly, rather than creating a new tier of communication, but I hate that as of right now it only supports 3 services I actually use. friendfeed on the other hand offers an amazing amount of accounts, but doesn't load anyone in automatically, so I'm looking at a whole night of loading my friends in. Not excited about that. I suppose the largest difference is that friendfeed offers you a chance to meet new people with similar interests, which is really what I was looking for in the first place, but it offers no GOOD way of digging through them...at least not that I've seen.

Anyway, I'm still enjoying me.dium, although I haven't really been able to convince my close friends of it's greatness just yet. However, I did watch the new video that me.dium put out, and noticed that 1) they seem to have a much more awesome facebook interface coming and 2) towards the end, you can see my blog's name on the friends map! check the video at about 2:06 and you'll see that someone was on my blog when the video was made! Thanks me.dium!

edit:
forgot i was going to embed the video...my bad.

One of the Many Uses for Me.dium from Peter Nocchiero on Vimeo.

the internet dilemma aka the conclusion of my nerderiffic trifecta

I think it was 1994 or 1995 when I really started getting addicted to the internet. Growing up, I was fortunate enough to have a family that embraced the concept of computers, although it seemed like I was the only one who really ever took the time to figure out how to use them, so at age 11 I convinced my mom that AOL was worth trying...after all, it had a free trial, might as well right?

Now, as I sit here at age 25, the "free trial" concept is not nearly as enticing, and the internet as I've known it is a completely different place. Those early days were filled with hours of time in pointless chat rooms, plenty of online video games, and of course a fascination with discovering new information. These days, I realize I have more abandoned profiles than ex-girlfriends, I'm a member of a billion different sites that each promise some unique feature that I can't live without, and most importantly, I feel like I have to work to find new things that interest me. If you're anything like me, by the time you finish visiting each of your different sites you get this suspicion inside you that maybe, just maybe something new has happened on one of them so you start the process again. Before you know it, you've spent a few hours to only discover a couple of interesting tidbits.

Hold on, I should probably grab the paper bag and start taking some deep breaths. If you don't realize by now, I'm having a mid-life social identity crisis.

It started with AOL, for me. I really bonded with my buddy list throughout my youth, and I used the "find a buddy" feature all the time to just find new people to talk to. After years of AOL use, I started seeing sites pop up that were designed to easily introduce you to new people. Whether it was rating the attractiveness of someone or shamelessly trying to get yourself laid, these sites were instantly addictive for me. I had a livejournal, a deadjournal, a blurty, I think even had one from some place with the word diary in the title, despite my hesitation to embrace the term "diary" as a guy.

In early 2004, myspace changed my life. For better or worse, it changed it in a big way. The term social networking developed, and I loved it. I went through the obsession stage, the self-obsession stage, the almost-delete-it-because-it's-ruining-my-life stage...I've seen it all.

I believe it was 2006 when facebook opened itself to my school. At first it didn't interest me nearly as much as myspace. I'm pretty sure the first couple of years I had a facebook, it was used mainly to find cute girls in my classes or in my own dorm. However, time (and intelligent development) has brought me now to a place where facebook is my go-to website, which presents an interesting situation for me.

Myspace for me was always for fun, whereas most of my facebook use was linking up with high school friends, classmates, etc. Myspace let me have visual control of my profile, so I've always felt that my myspace page showed my personality better than the stiff structure of a facebook profile, but now that I've seemingly "outgrown" myspace, I feel as though I'm in limbo. I really don't want to abandon either, but instead find a good way to streamline my online identity.

To try and accomplish this goal, I'll be trying a few new things over the next couple of weeks. I've already mentioned me.dium, and let me say as a follow up to that post, one of the best things about me.dium seems to be the people behind it. The morning after posting my review I was contacted by three different employees who were all very friendly. As a bit of a teaser, I have been assured that some new facebook related features are coming soon, and I can't wait to see what all that includes! Anyway, aside from me.dium, I am also trying Socialthing! and friendfeed. That is, in addition to making a true effort to utilize the networking features of sites I've been a member of for quite sometime.

If this doesn't work, I'll have to buy a red convertible and find some eye candy to take with me to all the social events I attend when I'm not busy writing long nerdy blog posts.

and thus, the separation from society deepens...

The good people over at me.dium are doing something that I am now absolutely fascinated with, and that is:

1.fluidly incorporating the awesomeness of social networking into your internet browser, rather than tying you down to a specific site.

2.furthering the concept of social networking as we know it by showing us new ways of pooling information between our friends.

and

3.giving me even less of a reason to go and "hit the bars"...and here's how.

I discovered me.dium tonight when I upgraded to the Firefox 3 RC 1 and began to look for which add-ons would still be functional. I had never heard of this specific service, but I had read recently that the concept of browser based social networking would be coming soon. As excited as I was...I really had no idea what it meant. Once I installed it and saw what it is capable of doing, I couldn't help but run over here to blab all about it.

The basic idea is that me.dium is an online social networking service, just like myspace or facebook, except this one runs in a fairly compact sidebar in your browser window. Rather than focusing on sharing personal media, me.dium plots you as a user on a figurative map of the internet. As your friends join up you will see them in an instant message style buddy list, as well as on your internet map. At this point people can see where you are at and vice versa. Don't worry...I know what you're thinking...maybe sometimes you don't WANT everyone to know what you're up to, and the folks at me.dium want you to know that's ok. A simple click can make you invisible or even log you out for those private internet browsing moments...you know...like...ordering an engagement ring? Yeah, we'll go with that.

Just those elements alone are incredible to me, but I haven't even revealed the ace in the hole. me.dium integrates your facebook friends list into that buddy list section, and links are provided for each one that allow you to directly message, suggest a link, or visit any of your friends. Your friends are not required to be a part of me.dium for you to be able to send them anything either, which makes this idea a slam dunk. Your facebook profile still contains pictures, videos, biographies with atrocious grammar and spelling, your wall isn't demolished...it's a beautiful thing. You will have to convince your friends to give the service a shot if you want to see where they're at on the internet and take advantage of me.dium's entire potential, but I think the popularity of social networking is strong enough to make plenty of people curious about this new concept.

So let me give you a brief rundown of pros and cons as I see them.

Pros - For one, the concept of sharing where you are at on the internet with your friends in real time just seems like a winner to me. The facebook integration is great, and the ability to quickly search through your facebook friends is wonderful.

Cons - I have a feeling most of my "cons" are things that will redeem themselves in the near future, as this tool is nowhere near completion, but I could stand a few changes. For one, the facebook buddy list is a bit big for my taste as there seems to be some wasted space if someone doesn't have a status set. The sidebar comes with 6 skins to choose from, and while they are decent, I would love to see customization as an option here. Oh, and one thing they try to sell as a feature is a "find similar pages" button which as of right now doesn't seem to offer the strongest suggestions. I don't know if this is compiled through the gathering of browsing history among users or what, but obviously the database needs to grow a bit.

Overall, I think this concept has some really awesome potential...imagine meeting a new friend because you were both on wikipedia at the same time, rather than bumping into someone new at the grocery store. As silly as it might sound, it's a true possibility.

So the real question is, how many nerds will find love on thottbot thanks to this? Only time will tell....only time will tell.

back to the nerdery.

So I've been doing some music reviews lately, (and there's plenty more to come) but my geeky heart went crazy today when I saw the following video. For over a year I have been excited about upcoming advances in multi-touch based computer environments. It's been awesome to watch Jeff Han's examples of what the future of multi-touch could be, and then today Digg gives me a look at the next step. It is apparent now that multi-touch concepts WILL be the future of computing, as now people are not only designing the basic workspace, we are now seeing fully functional applications that use multi-touch interaction to make massive amounts of information easily accessible. This is truly amazing...I cannot wait.

old 97s - blame it on gravity review

I more than owe it to Old 97s to dedicate a post to the review of their new album. As someone who grew up with these guys in his back yard, it's sometimes hard for me to understand that people who aren't Dallas locals still know and love these guys as much as I do...but there are still so many people unaware of their greatness...so for fans and non-fans alike, let's take a look at Blame It On Gravity, the brand new record from Dallas' own, Old 97s:

For those who may have never listened to Old 97s, allow me to explain the three levels that most of their songs fall into for me. I can honestly say that starting with Too Far To Care I don't believe there's a song I will skip. Even the weakest songs on the album are easily enjoyable and worth listening to. These level one songs include Borrowed Bride, Alone So Far, King of all the World, Streets of Where I'm From, to name a few. These songs are sometimes even favorites, just because they're so simple and still so good. From there we move to songs that step it up a notch. Level two is often reached thanks to Rhett's use of words, twisting stories around nice melodies and clever choruses. Past examples of level two Old 97s songs would have to include Niteclub, Rollerskate Skinny (inspired by one Winona Ryder...who I love way more than Rhett ever could), Busted Afternoon, Won't be Home, and plenty of others. Another guest in level two is bass player and king of heartbreak, Murry Hammond. Most of Murry's songs fall here for me, as I can't think of one that I don't love hearing. However, a couple of his songs creep on up into level three. Level three is reserved for the best, and for me, this band is at its best in songs like Timebomb, 4 Leaf Clover, Barrier Reef, Just Like California, and the list goes on. Also, Murry's Valentine as well as one of his Blame it on Gravity songs are definite level three-ers.

So now that you've got a few songs to listen to if you've never heard these guys before, I'll give you the run down on this new album.

Say what you want about Drag it Up, like it or love it, Blame it on Gravity does not follow in its footsteps. Drag it Up featured songs that were written by various members at various times in their lives, which--when assembled, sounded like a sampling of the different eras of Old 97s songs, however it never really conveyed that complete album feel. This album does a much better job of reminding me, as a fan, of the best moments of past albums while still being a new and fresh offering.

It should be noted that a casual Old 97s listener hears songs for what they are, while the rabid Old 97s fan has to also imagine how these songs will sound live, as the Old 97s are known for their excellent live shows which are always full of energy, as evidenced by the name of their live album Alive and Wired. If you are this type of listener, this album cannot disappoint you, as I can say that Salim Nourallah helped record this album with this quality in mind. Every single song on this album can be just as good (if not better) live.

So what of the actual songs? The album features a few new level three members for me, including Here's to the Halcyon, The One, Dance With Me, Early Morning and Murry's The Color of a Lonely Heart is Blue was a slam dunk into level three. Most of the album fits into level two for me though, as this album is full of addictive songs. It's hard to convey how each individual member of this band is so important to the sound of the band as a whole. It's this exact reason that although Rhett's solo offerings feel a bit lackluster to an Old 97s feeling. Rhett needs Ken squealing his way through some solos, he needs Murry's old soul to sing behind him, and he needs his drums pounding through some of the best "train disaster songs" to come along this generation. I think Rhett knows it, and The One is a great way to remind us that these are still 4 goofy guys who have a lot of fun doing what they are doing. This album is a joy to listen to, and I can't wait to hear these songs live for many years to come!

get your weezer red album track by track analysis right here.

so, it has happened once again. life swept through and knocked me off course. but i am strong and valiant, and i have just enough time to post what i've been wanting to get to all week. rather than bore you with details of dead week, finals, grades, and of course my getting sick in the midst of it all, i shall enlighten you with what i think of the 8 currently leaked songs from weezer's upcoming red album.

let me preface this by saying that it is hard for me to judge an incomplete work. however, we have the first 8 songs of the album, so we are at least able to see how it starts, and where it goes from there...anyway, tracks also have to stand on their own a little, so let's get to that.

track one - "troublemaker"
my first instinct is to not absolutely love this song, but it seems to embody something very "weezer-esque" and that is this insane ability to make songs that aren't very great, but yet they are very listenable. the verse is steady, you shake your head, tap your foot, whatever and of course the chorus provides just the right amount of lift. i'm not saying the song is bad, i'm just saying it's nothing amazing.

track two - "the greatest man who ever lived"
wow. i could probably write a dissertation on this song, so a short review is probably going to leave something important out. let's be clear though, i can't imagine a longtime weezer fan finding a way to dislike this song. it seems to sample bits and pieces of their entire career, mixes in the sounds of a war hymn, an amazing falsetto segment, and even a little rap that doesn't sound that bad. did anyone else hear the obvious They Might Be Giants sound too? to me the best part of this song is that it really seems to solve some of weezer's unsolved mysteries. it's weird to put an album's punchline at track 2, but who cares where it is. to sum it up, it's probably not a joke. rivers just might think he's the greatest man who ever lived...and if you're a weezer fan, you are all he needs to prove his point.

track three - "pork and beans"
well in a bit of rick rubin genius, the first single from the red album is of course ridiculously overproduced and a bit cheesy. i find it particularly interesting that rivers says "timbaland knows the way to reach the top of the chart. maybe if i work with him i can perfect the art" when it seems to me that working with rick rubin was a similar tactic. overall, other than the terrible compression on the chorus (the chorus doesn't lift...i think it actually loses some amplitude) and the general "wackiness" of the production, i don't dislike much about the song itself. it's kinda cheesy, sure, but it's weezer.

track four - "heart songs"
possibly my favorite of the leaked songs. one, because it's not often that you get such a clear look at the artists that influenced someone throughout their entire lives and two, because i think it's just a good song. once again, the production fucks it up a little with the overactive hi-hats and other drum machine garbage...but the build is really cool both musically and lyrically. i even like the rasp that shows up in rivers' voice when describing the impact of hearing nirvana's nevermind for the first time. it's a well thought out song, and i know i'll be singing along with it for years.

track five - "everybody get dangerous"
it's almost as if rivers felt like he got too personal on heart songs and needed to be a little kooky again to keep his cred. I dunno, I have a feeling most people will love or hate this song. i don't really like the first half of the song, but once you get to the part about kids asking their parents if they can smash up the place with some new ninja swords a smile crosses my face, and almost all negative thoughts on this song float out the door. unfortunately the chorus comes back and i remember how much i didn't like the first part of the song. i dont know, maybe it will grow on me with time.

track six - "dreamin"
if this song doesn't remind you why you ever liked weezer, i don't know what could. this song could have easily appeared on any previous weezer album, it's just a great, fun song. even the silly little bridge in the middle of the song with the birds chirping and all that business, it's all great. plus anyone who knows me will vouch for my complete and total obsession with GOOD builds in songs. weezer is no stranger to this concept and they proved that they were not amateurs with the second half of this song.

track seven - "thought i knew"
until the time of writing this blog i was never able to get through more than maybe a quarter of this song. it's not that it's completely terrible or anything, it's just territory weezer has never really ventured into (and maybe matt sharp wished they had back in the day) as rivers is really the only voice you ever hear on lead vocals. if anything, this track shows why. nothing distinguishes this song as weezer, and that's not just because of brian being on vocals. other bands manage to split lead vocal duties and still show who they are, but weezer is not one of those bands.

track eight - "cold dark world"
make this the second track i've never been able to listen to entirely until now...mainly because i have to. there's pretty much no part of this song where i thought that i might actually like it at all. seriously? angel girl in a cold dark world? i don't understand what was seen as good about this song...at least in the past i have used the excuse "maybe if this song didn't have weezer's name attached, i would like it...because it's good...it just doesn't sound like them." (see entire maladroit album) anyway, this song just plain sucks to me...it may be worse than ozma's bad dogs...yeah, i went there.


so there you have it. exactly what i think of the first 8 songs on weezer's album. apparently there will be two more songs on the "regular" edition and 6 more songs in the "deluxe version" you will inevitably download. the album drops june 3rd. i think. buy it?

this is a great day.

first and foremost, the end of this semester is in sight. i will then take a few weeks off, hopefully find a decent job, start making some money and then start it all back up again...today is particularly nice because all of my actual assignments are complete, and all that's left now is three consecutive nights of pushing my body to its limits by staying up all night and cramming massive amounts of information into my head.

but for the rest of today, i am not stressing, i am not freaking out about any of the many things i could be...i am hoping to relax somethin fierce...enter GTA IV.

anyway, in recent interwebs news, let me start with something completely unexpected. There is a man who conducts research at UCLA regarding the hazards of marijuana smoking. This one man has been the go-to guy for the American government's case against legalization for over 30 years. His name is Donald Tashkin, and today, he has some good news for those who happen to enjoy the sweet green:

"We hypothesized that there would be a positve association between marijuana use and lung cancer, and that the association would be more positive with heavier use," he said. "What we found instead was no association at all, and even a suggestion of some protective effect."

Now before you try to pretend i'm pulling this quote from a faceless independent case study done by Dr. J Toker, let me remind you, this man has made a living (from the government) of telling us how bad marijuana is for the human body.

He is also quick to point out that previous statements were not incorrect, but simply incomplete. Yes, marijuana does contain potential cancer causing chemicals, but this new batch of studies showed that marijuana's THC (you know, what distinguishes your twenty sack from a bag of oregano) counteracts those chemicals efficiently, and leaves the body no more susceptible to cancer than if you had never smoked a spliff in your life.

It is also worth noting that this was the largest study of its kind, which included more than 2,000 subjects with a wide variety of past marijuana use, and it was not just limited to lung cancer, but also head and neck. Tashkin still personally believes that marijuana is harmful in other ways, but cancer is (thankfully) off the list...

i guess if anyone could tell you about the possible harms of marijuana smoking, it might be DFW's own, Charles Fuller who was accused of unlawful possession of a weapon and marijuana shortly after trying to cash a [bogus] $360 billion check. His side of the story? He says his girlfriend's mom gave him the check so he could start a record company. THE MOST WEALTHY RECORD COMPANY EVER! Where did he get THAT weed!?

ohhhhh shit.

in what i consider to be startling news, EA has released the cover for Madden '09. this is always big news because the madden curse is an interesting concept, because so far no one has really survived it. some try to argue that vince young made it through alright, but he was 24th in TDs while being 7th in INTs...26th in qb rating. doesn't really sound like the season of a highly touted young qb to me, but who cares now...

i say "who cares now?" because the question now stands...will the madden curse follow you off the field, because this year's cover-boy is no longer playing...


ta daaaaa

Brett Favre! i'm pretty happy with the choice, although i'm now curious to know if this will be a recurring theme, or if ea is just run by a bunch of cheeseheads. if they really are trying to get away from current players, i also wonder if the names pat tillman or sean taylor were tossed around...

who knows...anyway, good luck brett.

UK news is always entertaining.

so the story is a simple one...a British government organization pays a ridiculous amount of money to have a logo designed...the logo looks alright as it is, it's just three letters...but when you turn it on its side, it looks a little...well....just look for yourself:


normal


ahhhhh hahaha.

the only thing that bothers me is that representatives from the OGC have already taken some of the best innuendos away in their own press releases:

“It is true that it caused a few titters among some staff when viewed on its side, but on consideration we concluded that the effect was generic to the particular combination of the letters OGC - and it is not inappropriate to an organisation that’s looking to have a firm grip on Government spend.”

and:

“They’re going to get more column inches than they could ever have expected before. If I were them, I would be pretty pleased.”

but will they ever be as pleased as the logo itself?

here we go again.

why is it that your life can be so boring for so long and then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, there's more than you can handle? it's crazy.

i want school to let up so i can finally do all the writing i want to...but there's really no relief in sight. it's just that i have so much i want to do...now...that it's frustrating to sit around studying all the time! i want to get crackin'...i want to hit the road. if you're just stumbling across my blog, allow me to take this moment to shamelessly self-promote myself a little by asking you to please add me on blogger, add me on myspace, follow me on tweeter or pownce, whatever you can, please do it...because around the second half of summer, i want to start planning a tour of the comedy clubs, coming to your town, telling you about my obsession with meshach taylor or whatever.

anyway, on to the stuff you want to read about...like how i watched "super high me" yesterday and developed a new affection for doug benson. sure i thought he was pretty funny on best week ever, but this man's stand-up is great. his style is probably the closest to what i would love to do with stand-up because sure he has some jokes, but he's also just naturally pretty funny, and so a lot of his material is just recounting things that actually happened in his day or recently in his life...i've always wanted to go that route, and definitely have parts of my sets that are like that, but i still feel like i "write out" my stuff, whereas doug just lets it flow. he's very good, and super high me is entertaining, even if only for all the cameos it brings to the table.

i also ate at cracker barrel, and my longtime desire to write a book called: " "my boyfriend works on dirt bikes" and other ways to know you're failing life." returned with full force.

i leave you (once again) with a video courtesy of funny or die. i promise i will return with more classic greatness soon, but i am just TOO excited about the kids in the hall making new sketches! i [hopefully] get to see them live this week which will make the second time i've seen them live....it's gonna be amazing...

big day!

oh man, some days are just better than others. thank god this one went in the right direction, because it sure as hell didn't start off that way.

i went to get my car inspected, and apparently no state inspection place on earth will sneak you through if your tint's a little too dark. i still see cars trolling around puffing smoke everywhere, and yet my car is just too shady. so i have to say goodbye to the tint, until i can afford to tint again. ugh.

however, i have been in a burning mood today, and i'm actually managing to reclaim some of my hard drive from all the perfectly legal public domain files i've downloaded recently.

i also caught up on comedy night done right, thank you internet.

watched "look who it isn't"...in case you don't follow my tweets, it's an awesome collection of zach galifianakis footage. apparently he compiled it himself and wanted people to see it, so i did. i had seen most of the stuff before, but it was nice to relive some of the fun late world with zach moments and also see him performing early versions of jokes we've all come to love.

also, speaking of zach...there's a new between two ferns. i usually know i said my daily youtubes would be old favorites, but i can't help posting this up for everyone.

*sigh* this is what it's come to.

i might as well admit it, i'm basically a slave to my computer...more than just my computer, i'm addicted to the internet. in a big way. i can't help it, i love this shit. i love the fact that when i want to know anything...whether it's the price of sushi at mr. chopsticks or the score of the game, or whether or not wilfred brimley is still alive (he is, and he still has diabeetuss) i can. instantly. it's awesome.

i say this because lately i've become addicted to more and more websites, and i'm sore my blogroll on the side over there will probably start growing rapidly. expect it.

my latest addiction is twitter. i've spent the last couple weeks debating whether or not i wanted to buy into the hype, and at one point figured i'd just join pownce in an effort to get the twitter effect without directly endorsing twitter itself. it was ok, but i really made no effort to befriend anyone on pownce, which is kind of vital to the concept. this time, i'm just so excited that i can't help but try to get my friends in on the action. if you're reading this and you don't have a twitter yet, give it a shot. if you have even one friend on there it can be a real blast.

our cable's still out, but apparently we couldn't have watched our thursday night tv anyway since our local NBC affiliate had nonstop storm coverage. apparently there was some pretty bad weather somewhere around here...all we got was a little rain...point is...i've been watching a lot of kids in the hall and fawlty towers lately. today's youtube clip for you is a hilarious snippet of the amaaaaazing fawlty towers.

smart people

just got back from seeing "smart people". i enjoyed it...there were parts of it that seemed weak, and several that were just plain unnecessary, but then again, life's the same way. sure dennis quaid sometimes seems a little too caricaturish...sure, sarah jessica parker's character didn't make any sense (it didn't help that she was a woman)...it all really centered around lowell and juno. good 'ol THC charms his way into every characters life and steals every scene he's in while he's at it. personally, i would've liked his storyline to be the main premise while dquaid and SJP set off on the side, as their awkward relationship drags on. ellen page, lovely and crass as usual, not as gimmicky as juno, thank god.

anyway, since i didn't incorporate one earlier...here's a classic THC moment.

this is why i hate being poor.

Band of Horses
Foo Fighters
Beck
John Fogerty
David Byrne
The Mars Volta
Conor Oberst
N.E.R.D.
Erykah Badu
G.Love
Gogol Bordello
Silversun Pickups
The Black Keys
Jakob Dylan
Stars
CSS
Del!
MGMT
What Made Milwaukee Famous
Jenny Lewis
Shooter Jennings
Louis XIV
Mates of State...

oh man. Austin City Limits is a festival that never disappoints with its lineup. I need $170 now.

will you bejewel me?

man, i consider myself a bit of a nerd, but this guy takes the cake. the man reprogrammed bejeweled so that it would expose a ring and a proposal when his girlfriend hit a certain score...

i can't help but wonder how he came up with the score that she'd have to hit. Did he look through her high scores...set it up around there? Maybe he set it low so she matched up a couple sets and TA-DAA...either way, everyone's happy, she says yes and the guy's happy because the whole thing worked...but if that had been me...the fact that she saw the proposal would not have been good news..it just means the girl was really fucking good at bejeweled, cause i would've set that shit high...i'm talking ridiculously high. like snoop dogg high. she'd come running in "oh my god, yes! yes!" and it would take me a while just to figure out what the fuck she's talking about until she says something about jewels...i guess out of pure shock i would just deny it, "what? no...did it glitch or something? there's no way you hit...that score...oh god."

oh dear god...

no time to write too long of a post today, this week is ridiculous. i just found out i missed a quiz on friday in a class that offers no extra credit, i have to write a one page paper, a three page paper, prepare for my group project AND learn some physics all before thursday. son of a bitch.

i decided yesterday i'm entering this el chico video contest...if i can talk a location into helping me out. i'll keep you posted on it...if i can do what i'd like to, i think it will at least be funny...who knows though, maybe it'll score me $2500!

by the way...anyone actually watched waterworld? i ask because i never had, then this morning i catch the end of a warren miller film...because i'm extreme...and waterworld comes on. as of right now i've watched maybe 15 minutes of it, and i can't believe there's actually two more hours. i feel like this is the biggest prank ever pulled...like sometime in the next 20 minutes they're just going to start rolling credits, because no one...i mean NO ONE should've sat through a movie like this for 145 minutes.

anyway, today's old video comes courtesy of the kids in the hall, who i will be seeing live in just over a week!!!

i drink your milksh...wait a minute.

"Milkshake murderer" Nancy Kissel, is currently serving a life sentence for beating her husband to death after lacing his strawberry milkshake with sedatives. Unfortunately the beating did not take place on a seemingly out of place bowling alley, and sources close to the family say Kissel's husband, Robert, had no connections to the oil business.

ok, maybe once a week...

well at least i refuse to let it go longer than a week.

it's hard to get in the habit of writing something online when you know no one is reading it..but of course, no one will read it if you don't write consistently. it's like getting a credit card, or an 8 year old girlfriend.

the first show at the prophet bar was hugely successful from my point of view. we had one really good table of non-comics that stayed through the whole show, and really helped provide some feedback on everyone's material...sure, the audience could've been bigger, but with almost NO promotion whatsoever, it was just nice that people showed up. there were probably close to 15 comics, and since it was pretty small we just let everyone do what they wanted. some people did 5 minutes, some did 10-12, but no one really hijacked the mic and made it their own. we all talked, we all laughed, and i'm pretty sure we all are going to try a little harder to get more people out next time (may 1st).

in other news, i'm currently beefing up my material to compete in houston's funniest person competition. there's only 60 competitors this year, and my goal is to at least make it out of the first round. i'm still relatively new to the performing of comedy, so i don't want to set my goals too high or anything, but to make it into the second round, you have a 1 in 3 chance. I'll go up may 6th against 14 others, and 5 will make it. i want to be one of those 5.

in case you're curious what i've been really interested in lately...i spent a good deal of time yesterday reading about MIT's social robotic experiments. it's so awesome to know that this shit is finally happening, it's just scary because i always thought that before the smart ones, we'd at least have a generation of robots that only did specific things like clean your house, cook dinner, give you a blowjob....you know, the usual things. but instead, we jump straight to the ones that can think and learn on their own....how long before Nexi there realizes that i have no job, no money, a fear of commitment, and she leaves me for someone better...or worse yet, stays around but just looks bored all the time, and sings old negro spirituals every time i ask for a beej...just like my ex girlfriend.

anyway, i've decided that at least for a while, i'm going to dig up some old gold off of youtube each time i post. today's clip comes courtesy of dana carvey and SNL...hope you like it.

oh man,

it's currently 9am, and I'm already watching E!

it's a terrible thing, but goddamn if their countdown shows aren't incredibly hard to turn off. of course i want to know the top 50 celebrity confessions...who wouldn't!? how else would i get such up to date information on the celebrities i REALLY care about...like kristy swanson and usher...

in other news, this is a huge week for me, and i am starting to feel the pressure of what i am taking on. i have two big assignments due tomorrow, and then i'm making the trek to hyena's on wednesday for an open mic/all out promotion frenzy to support the launching of open mic at the prophet bar in dallas which is on thursday. all this for a guy who spends most of his days sitting on his couch watching cash cab and reading digg. anyway, better get back to the homework, i'll probably post later with various links and, of course, witty commentary...

oh john mccain.

it's odd this has mostly been a political commentary blog so far, but gosh darn it, there's just too much wackiness to ignore!

i just read this article, and although this came out earlier this month, it's the first i've heard of this mess up. if you don't like to click on links (because you're afraid you'll miss out on too much of my bloggy goodness), allow me to sum it up:

Reporter to McCain: hey, do condoms help prevent HIV?

John McCain: uhhhhhh...ummmmm....

Reporter: do we need to call the home for you sir? you're in iowa, everything will be ok, you were just having those grandiose fantasies again....

the man seriously didn't know how to answer the question of whether or not condoms helped to prevent HIV. i can only imagine the follow up questions i would want to ask if john mccain told me he was stumped by this question..

"excuse me, mr. mccain....um, do you believe umbrellas keep you from getting wet when it's raining?"

"sir, would you advise the wearing of a mesh tank top and hot pants in the minneapolis/st. paul airport bathrooms if your goal is to get out of there without blowing an Idaho senator?"

sure, these seem like common sense to you and me, but Old Man McCain thinks you can't get pregnant if you do it in a pool, so forgive him for not studying up on all this condom nonsense...he's been busy trying to figure out how to give every american a pool, and how to listen to people without secretly daydreaming of discounted meals.

a few of my fears.

i fear that hillary has truly lost her mind. anyone who knows me is sure to know by now that i am not a fan of her, and i have been especially displeased with the way she chosen to run her campaign, so my fear refers to something much larger than her recent desperate attempts
to cling on to some sort of delusion that she can still win the nomination. my question is why? it's simple to say that hillary is not delusional, but maybe still a little drunk from all the champagne she cracked open before super tuesday...that she was so convinced of being a sure thing candidate from the beginning that it's almost impossible for her to admit her chances in '08 have faded from sight. it hasn't come without warning, and it hasn't come without the opportunity for her to set things straight, but alas, the day has not yet come for a politician to admit wrongdoing. now, after being caught lying about sniper fire and refusing to let go of the rev. wright issue, her approval rating has hit a new low, and there are no glimmers of hope in her horizon. i just fear that she is really going to end up hurting the democratic party.

after digging this article about ray kurweil, i fear singularity. seriously, the mere thought of having robotic organs inside me, and then them "waking up" and realizing they're better than that and just splitting...ok, so maybe it doesn't say that exactly, but that shit is already in my head now and it terrifies me.

lastly, i fear that some people have just plain lost their minds.

in other news...

a lot of my friends are really down on bill clinton right now...saying he's hurting his legacy by continuing to make such terrible comments about barack obama...i mean, when you're a former president being referred to as a modern day joe mccarthy, i think it's safe to say something is wrong....but what's funny, is obama has recovered gracefully every time, and in the end, it seems like these comments president clinton have been making actually give MORE support to barack.

that's when it hit me.

al this time, we though 'ol bill was campaigning FOR hillary...i guess it just goes to show how foolish we are, because after i stopped and thought about it, i realized there's no way bill would choose to support his wife over a guy like obama. bill's just doing what he can to silently help barack while quietly sabotaging his wife's chances of taking office...

if there's one man on earth who would like to see hillary NOT get the candidacy more than me, i think it's probably bill.

just sayin.

that was a rough break.

well, midterms and spring break took their toll on me, but here i am...allow me to recap what's happened since my last post.

i think i actually did pretty well on all my midterms...i know i got a 93 on my physics test, which i never in a lifetime would've though i could've pulled out since i hadn't gone to one class since the last test, but here i am to tell the tale.

then came spring break, which started on st. patty's day this year. i chose to celebrate st. patty's in reverse order of most people, so i started the day puking...around 7am. it was miserable. i realized it was a light case of food poisoning and went on my way.

wednesday night i did my first open mic night at hyena's in arlington. there were 38 comics who each got about 3 minutes of time. i say "about" because some people, no matter how unfunny they may have been, continued on for much longer, clinging on the microphone like i would hold on to the last copy of super smash brothers at target. anyway, out of the 38, i went 36th. the guy that went on right after me couldn't finish a joke he was so wasted, and the guy after him was just a big black guy who was pissed off about politics. and not pissed off like lewis black....no, this guy was not pissed WITH punchlines, he was just pissed.

needless to say, it was a mixed experience. i realize that the comedy world asks you to pay certain dues, and i respect that. i just hope that it isn't like months of going dead last, because that i just can't handle. there were literally like 10 people left in the room by the time i hit the stage, and i don't know if you've ever tried your hand at stand up, but i'm sure at some point in your life, you've tried to tell a story that for whatever reason you thought was interesting, and whoever you were telling it to basically acted like you were a complete idiot for trying to tell it....well, that's about what comedy in a room of ten people is like. it's actually almost more awkward at that point to hear someone audibly laugh because although you know you finally reached someone, it really only confirms that the mic really is on, and they really can hear you. they're just not laughing.

the good news is, i was actually fairly comfortable up there, and i know when it comes time to do the prophet bar shows, i won't have to go on so late...which will be great, because then i'll at least get SOME feedback, hopefully good.

Exactly what is wrong...

today I encountered a perfect example of exactly what is wrong with the world...my roommate and I went to starbucks, a place I generally find to be filled with a certain part of the populus...While sometimes these people are a bit lofty in their opinions, I have never really encountered anyone too unpleasant. Until today. You see, starbucks was not THAT busy. A woman and her young daughter (maybe 7) got in line behind us as we were ordering. I say this because it is important to note that there is no way to confuse that the two of us were in front of the two of them. As we finished paying, we quickly browsed through the cds (easy tiger was there, and definitely goes well with coffee....kudos starbucks) then sat at a table right by the counter where the finished drinks come out. The portly woman, along with her equally portly daughter decide that waiting patiently somewhere out of the way is not befitting of them, so they hog right on up to the bar itself. The woman even made eye contact with us at one point, and I blame myself for not realizing at this point something was about to go wrong. I re-imagine that moment we locked eye contact almost like the scenes in better off dead where john cusack is being taunted, even dared, to just TRY and stop those americanized asian brothers from beating him in a race, but at the time, I had no way of knowing that the enjoyment level of my day was in great peril.

I guess I should clarify something about myself...and that is, that above anything else, poor public behavior is the number one way to upset me. If you're an idiot at home, so what...but the second your ignorant behavior keeps me from accomplishing something is the very second I wish I could just take you out and beat you. Why? Because i'm not asking you to understand kant's categorical imperative, I don't expect you to be able to quote me lines from the tempest, I just ask that in public, you act like a decent human being.

So with that said, the time comes...my roommate's drink comes out first, and as the barista is calling out "tall caramel whatever for justin" and sets the drink on the counter, the portly daughter quickly grabs the drink before I, being less than an arm's reach away, can...and not only that, even as i'm reaching for it, takes a drink. As she swallows that first sip she tries to cover up the fact that it was too hot to taste, and instead looks at me and smiles.

I look at the mother, fully expecting to receive an apology for the behavior, but instead she says "well, she ordered the same thing...how could she know?" and with that the woman seems fully confident that she has fulfilled her obligation to me.

the barista hands me my drink, and seeing as how my roommate ordered the same thing, we accepted the one that was originally intended for the little girl.

I was careful to not make a scene, but the situation made me think about a couple of things.

First and foremost, this a blatant error of parenting. Nothing was done to insure that, in the future, this little girl refrains from drink theft. I'm not saying you have to yell or beat the kid or anything like that, it's as simple as saying "rachel, (which was the girl's name on the cup) wait until they call your name, ok?" but instead the parent tries to just excuse their child's poor behavior.

Second, why are you giving your seven year old overweight kid a combination of espresso, caramel, and mocha?

Thanks. Day ruined.

-update- despite my day having previously been ruined, it is now NOT RUINED as it is now snowing.

a little about myself, i guess.

i'm a little late getting to today's blog. i always say i'm going to write during the day, but it seems like such a waste. if i write at night, i have the entirety of my day to draw from in these entries. for instance, if i had posted earlier, i wouldn't have been able to comment on the passing of boyd coddington, the hall of fame hot rod builder, most known to the world as the boss on the discovery channel's "american hot rod". i have to admit, the show wasn't my thing, but from what i've seen, boyd could really come up with some sweet classic rides, and i'm sure his absence will be felt.

moving on...

i watched the movie "lars and the real girl" today, and despite having read some negative reviews, i was pretty glad i watched it. sure it's out there, and for those who watch movies with the sole idea of realism in mind, this may be a big waste of time, but for people who are willing to sacrifice a little bit of reality for an interesting and even oddly touching movie, i would seriously suggest it.

i also recently watched the documentary "herbie hancock:possibilities" and man, it just excited me! the fact that a man like herbie still exists, someone who is still trying to push the limits of a genre, and someone who is very obviously motivated not by money or success, but by how exciting it is for him to create music...this is so ridiculously encouraging, it makes me not want to give up on music, even though the vast majority of it out there right now is lifeless. please don't misunderstand, i still hear passion in music occasionally, and i can't deny the power of a good pop song for sheer enjoyment, so i'm not saying "fuck music" i'm simply saying that i can only hope there are future artists looking up to people like herbie hancock or paul simon, rather than the pop stars who try to suck every dollar out of their fans that they can.

uno.

i have the infinite pleasure of beginning my blogging experience while i'm at work, and subsequently using a keyboard that should probably be a prototype for the first fetal computers, but it's whatever...let's see what we've got to talk about...

the oscars were last night and in case you missed it, here's a recap: jon stewart sealed the deal in becoming the billy crystal of my generation (which if we want to apply all reasonable logic, you might assume that ellen would become the new whoopi...in case you're curious). He accomplished this by actually managing to keep the ceremony relatively interesting for just over three hours, commenting on the current state of politics, the writers strike, and even a little bit of good natured jabbing at screen icons like dennis hopper and jack nicholson. perfect mix, jon...but you already knew i loved you, so there's really nothing new there.

from there we go on to how much everyone loved no country for old men and how much everyone really just liked talking about juno.

no country took home four awards total, and they just happened to all be pretty "big ones" if i may say so...it won best adapted screenplay, best supporting actor, best director(s) and best picture. personally, i thought there will be blood would've put up more of a fight, in fact, in my oscar pool i had there will be blood taking best picture, but no country taking the best directing award, but apparently no country did no wrong, and there were thus rewarded.

and while no country for old men racked up the oscars, the little film everyone loved to talk about, Juno, took home only best original screenplay, an award that -in my eyes- was probably the least appropriate for it to win. i didn't consider the film oscar-worthy in any sense, and i know it's basically un-American to say so, but i'm sorry....it needs to be said. the movie was good, sure, but seriously? the screenplay itself was written by diablo cody, former "exotic dancer" or as i like to call it, "stripper" turned hollywood writer. it seems like this point is so incredibly important to people...as if to say "wow...strippers aren't all illiterate drug-addicts incapable of sustaining life by any means other than peeling their clothes off in front of men who can't figure out how to get laid on their own?" i think we can all agree this is a pretty offensive stereotype...there are plenty of guys that go to strip clubs that could still get laid on their own....kidding diablo, but my point remains that i don't know if more people liked the movie as a whole, or the fact that its writer isn't some old man who has made a living out of writing movies. i'm definitely not winning over any possible subscribers here, i just think that overall, juno was a cute little movie with way too many "hipisms" as i like to call them. juno was a film trying desperately to appear hip to anyone who watched it, whether it be the middle-aged crowd being dragged to the theaters by their teenagers or to the teenagers doing the dragging, and i guess i can say mission accomplished. you won over a lot of older viewers with the idea that maybe there really is a sixteen year old girl with no older siblings who just happens to think that iggy and the stooges and patti smith really are the greatest rockers of all time, and you may have won over the teens 'n tweens with new vocab words like "wizard" or "phuket, thailand"...but in the process, it left me wishing cody had simply written a movie set in her own time period, it's not as if her era is out of touch with modern teens, and a lot of her pop culture references would've worked just as well, if not better.

if you're here, you either see my point or you just skipped the whole last paragraph because you were tired of reading such sacreligious thoughts...either way, i'm over it. i didn't think juno was bad, i just didn't see it being worth all the fuss.